Captain America: The First Avenger

Summer 2012 is going to be another comic book summer with Spider Man, The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers all being released.  The Dark Knight Rises will no doubt be the best of the three but it is The Avengers I am most excited about.

Samuel L Jackson’s post credits quest of assembling The Avengers finally came to an end as Captain America: The First Avenger, became the last member to make his big screen appearance.

PLOT:  Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is a tiny little dude with a myriad of health problems and is illegible to enlist in the US Army.   Steve deals with rejection by getting his ass kicked in a back alley until he is spotted and recruited by Dr Erskine (the great Stanley Tucci) for an experimental procedure which will turn him into a super soldier. 
Skinny Steve climbs into a metal chamber and gets injected with magic serum.  Upon his release we are introduced to Sexy Steve and heavenly trumpets play and angels cry at the sight of his wonderfully toned body.
Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving) has found a cosmic cube which has allowed him to develop, and I use the technical term, “people vaporising” guns and tanks. 
We all remember just how much fun Tommy Lee Jones can be.  There is occasional confusion as I can’t tell the difference between Bucky and Howard Stark until I realise one of them wore a moustache and the other did not.  Schmidt flays his own head, becomes Red Skull and attempts to take over the world for reasons known only to himself.  Captain America (fuck yeah!) saves the mother fucking day (yeah).  END PLOT

The plot of Captain America is fine as the story of a little guy standing up to a bully.  It also came across as a last minute attempt to link together all the characters before The Avengers blasts onto the big screen by hinting at Thor’s world with the cosmic cube and Howard Stark, in an unnecessarily extended role, tied in Tony Stark.

Those of you who know me already know that Chris Evans is my go to guilty pleasure actor and if I need an easy going 90min flick putting in a Fantastic Four or the much loved Cellular is never too much bother - and I wont hear a bad word about them. 

Evans has the charm to pull of a leading man role and he was a solid choice for Steve Rogers although there were times when he was a bit stiff.  If the stiffness was an intentional character trait this will play better against Robert Downey Jnr’s Tony Stark. 

Stanley Tucci steals the show in a role which was nothing more than a cameo.  As I am not familiar with the comic story I didn’t realise just how small his part would be and he was missed towards the end of the film.

Hayley Attwell as Peggy Carter fared a lot better than most Marvel female love interests.  Peggy had much more backbone than Pepper Potts or Jane and avoided any real damsel in distress moments.  It is almost a shame that she wont have a part in The Avengers.

Hugo Weaving wasn’t particularly menacing as Red Skull and seemed to be battling with a sssssspeach impediment which elongated all “S” ssssyllablessss in an annoying manner. 

Despite being a Marvel based film the action was quite grounded with most of it taking place in a WW2 setting.  The breakout from the Hydra’s layer was very well done - although the final battle between Captain America and Red Skull was perhaps a little disappointing.

My main concern was Captain America’s uniform as it had the potential to look ridiculously cheesy and I wasn’t sure how they were going to get away with it on the big screen.   The tone of the film was quite campy, fun and didn’t take proceedings too seriously so the evolution of the Captain America costume within the film itself worked - thankfully.

If there was one thing I did not like about Captain America it would have to be the score. There didn’t appear to be any distinguishable theme and for the first time in a long time I don’t think there is a single section that will make it onto my I-pod.  The brass heavy score reminded me of The West Wing but it just didn’t have any heart to it and for an Alan Silvestri score it was very disappointing.

Captain America: The First Avenger was a fun couple of hours which in no way harmed the Marvel brand or my love for Chris Evans and it gets a solid 7.5/10.  

I did sit through the never ending credit sequence to watch the teaser trailer and although it showed us absolutely nothing of any great significance I left the screen hyper - excitement for The Avengers starts now.

Blade 2

 Blade 2 is a film which should have been watched much earlier in Reedus Season as the combination of a newly discovered actor and my all time favourite director, Guillermo del Toro, ought to have been given top priority but alas it was not to be.

PLOT:  Blade (Wesley Snipes) together with his team of Scud (Norman Reedus) and the newly humanised Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) join forces with the Bloodpack in order to defeat a new breed of super vampire which has the cheek to feed on both humans and vampires alike.  There is tension between the groups. There is betrayal.  There is the great Ron Perlman as Reinhardt.  There is the knowledge that Blade survives and goes on to star in the awful Blade Trinity.  END PLOT

I am not familiar with the Blade comics therefore I have no idea whether or not Blade 2 follows them accurately or at all.  Blade 2 joins the long list of films based on literature that I have no inclination of ever reading and gets reviewed based on its merits as a film.

The plot was strong and delves into Blades own particular brand of vampire lore very well.  As a general rule vampires are not my genre and I am thankful that Blade 2 refrains from turning them into the high definition whining sex objects such a True Blood or *spit* *spit* Twilight.

I have never been a huge fan of Wesley Snipes but he stars in one of my guilty pleasures - Demolition Man.  As Blade he thankfully is required to do nothing more than utter the odd monosyllabic phrase in between swinging his sword at whosoever he chooses.  The character of Blade is one of the least interesting title characters I can think of but luckily Blade 2 has a ridiculously strong supporting cast.

It is hard to believe that in a career filled with cult classics, indie films and cameos Blade 2 is probably one of the most mainstream films of Norman Reedus’ career.  There is nice story that Guillermo del Toro rang Norman Reedus and offered him the part of Scud as he was fed up with him staring in indie films “that nobody ever fuckin' sees”.  One can only hope that del Toro will pick up the phone more often. 

The scenes between Kris Kristofferson and Norman Reedus are some of the best in the film as we get to see their relationship grow from mistrust to bonding in a relatively short space of time.

Not enough male to male bonding makes me very sad :-(

Ron Perlman, a family favourite and affectingly known as Big Ron by all members of the Bamber household, steals the show as Reinhardt without ever taking off his sunglasses.  It is easy to see why he is one of del Toro’s preferred actors as the man just commands your attention whenever he is on screen. 

You know you live in a special household whenever Ron Perlman is the family favourite.

My love of all things touched by Guillermo del Toro is well known to my friends and Blade 2 has all the earmarks of a traditional del Toro film.

Blade 2 was filmed in Prague and del Toro makes great use of its old Gothic buildings and churches which are themes which pop up regularly in his films.  The section which takes place in the House of Pain is visually stunning.

The film is very drained of colour with black, white and chrome being the main colour scheme which makes the blood really stand out.  There is a lot of blood yet the film never appears overly gruesome. 

The effects are fine and del Toro manages to put his own spin on the dusting of a vampire to the extent that the death of Nyssa is actually quite beautiful to watch.

I think Blade 2 owes it success to its director - David Goyer, the writer of the Blade films, directed Blade Trinity and the dip in quality is blatantly obvious. 

Blade 2 isn’t my favourite Reedus film nor is it my favourite del Toro but it gets an 8/10 which is uncharacteristically high for a vampire film.  If it wasn’t for the excellent supporting cast or the directors talented eye Blade 2 would have been Blade Trinity and quite frankly one of those is more than enough.

The Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

I found myself stuck in the middle of an almighty clash between Reedus Season and my Inner Movie Snob as today I watched The Messengers 2:  The Scarecrow.

I did see The Messengers in the cinema but I can remember very little about it so the unnecessary straight to dvd prequel did not register on my radar until quite recently - if it wasn’t for Reedus Season The Messengers 2 would have passed right by me.

PLOT:  John Rollins (Norman Reedus) and his family risk losing their farmhouse as their crops are failing and they are falling deeper into debt.  After John finds a scarecrow in the crawl space of an old barn he puts it up in the middle of his cornfield and his luck begins to change.
The harvest improves however John doesn’t become as jolly as a green giant as people around him begin to die in suspiciously unaccidental accidents.
John enjoys his run of good luck. John’s son is scared of the scarecrow.  John no longer enjoys his run of good luck.  John is scared of the scarecrow.  For want of a better description John is raped by a ghost.  There is a hoedown showdown in the barn. END PLOT

The plot of The Messengers 2 was exactly what I was expecting yet it also managed to be quite different.

In most conventional horror films it’s either the mother or the child who take the lead role in dealing with whatever creepy entity is harassing them with the father being either absent or relegated to the doubting cynic who is killed at the beginning of the third act.  The Messengers differs from norm as the story is told solely from the fathers point of view with John Rollins being in almost every scene.

The Messengers doesn’t go down the route of a typical scarecrow themed slasher film ala Jeepers Creepers (although I do love these films) and plays as a purposely slow moving thriller.

There is an episode of the show Supernatural called Scarecrow - with the Scarecrow being a pagan god who brings life to an orchard in exchange for a male and female sacrifice once per year.  There is a hint of the supernatural running through the film and a brief mention of black magic although the black magic theme or potential paganism aren't developed in any great detail - instead the film plays on the notion that John may or may not be going crazy due to his financial stresses.  Was this the right decision? Maybe....

The performances of the cast are all fine - the interesting thing about The Messengers 2 is that there is actually very little dialogue with the vast majority of the movie being played dialogue free and the score is pretty much non existent. 

Despite being shot on a $2million budget the movie does not look cheap - The Messengers 2 has a great wide open independent feel to it which I am falling more in love with, with every Reedus Season film.

For a horror/thriller the action is pretty much non existent although there are the traditional jumps and scares.  I will admit that once Norman Reedus picked up an axe and stated running through the cornfield my Walking Dead fangirl was awakened as the dude pulls of the "running with purpose whilst holding an axe" look like no other.

Norman Reedus wielding an axe automatically makes everything 10x better. 

Overall The Messengers 2 is not a great film but neither is it a bad.  If they had strengthened the supernatural element or ramped up the tension of John’s perceived insanity it may have served the film better. 

The Messengers 2:  The Scarecrow gets a solid 5/10.

Reedus Season 1 vs. Inner Movie Snob 0. 

**Thank you to my fellow Vixen for finding me the screen cap!!**

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (Spoilers)

As with my previous Harry Potter reviews I must start off with the disclaimer that I am one of the few people on the planet who have not read the books.  I confess I don’t know exactly what I was doing or reading when the series started but it’s now down to equal parts lack of interest/misplaced stubbornness that I just refuse to tackle the novels.

PLOT:  The Deathly Hallows Part 2 opens exactly as Part 1 finished and as I was already half way down the isle at that stage it posed a slight problem as I couldn't remember what was happening.  I still don’t know what the Deathly Hallows is/are.  There is the never ending treasure hunt for the McGuffin Horcruxes.  There is the Battle at Hogwarts but we only see hastily edited snippets as our focus is on Harry running up and down a corridor after ghost.  There was not the “Harry, I am your father moment” I was expecting from the dying Snape.   Voldemort kills Harry.  Harry kills Voldemort and they all live happily ever after surrounded by the ever growing ginger cult the new generation of Weasley children.  END PLOT

I have no idea if Part 2 was loyal to the novel and as per usual I don’t care - I have always watched Harry Potter from the view point of a film fan and that is how I must write my review.

The plot rolled on at a decent pace although I still wasn’t entirely sure what was going on.  The Harry Potter films all have this annoying habit of catering to their fans and them alone - for someone going in blind it has always been a struggle to understand the half hearted and at times down right confusing exposition. 

Credit where it is due though - the Snape back story was one of the best sections in the film although my initial thought of “Dumbledore is a cruel bastard then?” was apparently the wrong one to have.

The final instalment definitely became the Harry Potter story with Ron and Hermione not having as big a part to play this time around.  This is fitting since Harry’s story was finally coming to an end but it was disappointing as Daniel Radcliffe is the least engaging of the three stars. 

With Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) relegated to supporting cast the actual supporting cast were in turn given nothing more than a quick cameo. 

Alan Rickman stole the show as Snape in what has now become tradition.  The cadence of his speech is so slow and pronounced you just cannot take your eyes off him when he talks.

It was great to see Dame Maggie Smyth back and getting to show the tough fighting side of Professor McGonagall and out of the cast she together with Matthew Lewis as Neville Longbottom got a brief moment to shine.

Seeing respected British actors such as Jim Broadbent, Emma Thompson and the great Gary Oldman hanging around in group scenes does seem like such a waste of their talent but I think seeing them in the crowd brings a real sense of continuity to the Potter world.  It also shows the affect that Harry Potter has had on the British film industry in that our top actors are prepared to reprise their roles for the smallest of scenes. 

If Part 1 is to remembered as the boring camping half, Part 2 rightly deserves the accolade of the action half.  Some of the minor set pieces such as the section in the goblins vault were a bit blah but it didn’t particularly matter as even I, the non-fan, was waiting in anticipation for the Battle of Hogwarts.

The Battle of Hogwarts was disappointing as aside from a few wand zapping moments very little happened other than screaming school children running around the corridors of the school.  The Battle had the potential to be an epic confrontation between the characters but it never really got going and nothing more dramatic happened than Neville blowing up a bridge.

I will admit that during the battle I did feel a flicker of emotion when Lupin (well remembered) and his girlfriend (I can’t even name her after a trip to IMDB) were reaching out to hold one another’s hands before the battle started only for the camera to cut to them reaching out to each other in death.  This was the best shot in the entire film and probably the only time I have ever felt real emotion for any of the characters.

During the battle other characters didn’t fare so well.  Although there was a nice little Fred and George moment before the Battle, the death of Fred/George didn’t pull the emotional punch it should have as the grief of George/Fred and the rest of the Weasley family (including Ron) was going on in the background.

Even Mrs Weasley and her “Ripley” moment of daughter saving swearing fell flat as Ginny never appeared to be in any real danger and there was no tension in the scene whatsoever.

The effects in the Battle were flashes of zapping colour coming from the wands but there wasn’t any overly memorable magic used - Professor McGonagall summoning the stone statues into battle was probably the best effects moment of the film.

After eight films the stand-off between Harry and Voldemort became a dick ward measuring contest in which Harry won by remembering at the last minute that he was the true owner of Voldemorts wand.  This stemmed from the events surrounding Dumbledore’s death which took place about four years ago and I do thank the writers for the “you remember, back when Draco tried to kill Dumbledore” moment of explanation as I was deploying full WTF at that moment.

The argument of the merits of splitting the final novel into two films will run on for a while yet - could they perhaps of shortened the forest sections and added the Battle of Hogwarts onto the end of Part 1?  The answer is they probably could and my cynical side does see it as an attempt to eek the revenue proceeds out to the maximum.

Saying that Part 2 holds up very well as a film in its own right so perhaps they are justified in their decision. 

Towards the end of Harry Potter there was a lot of sniffling echoing around the cinema and I will admit that I did feel sad that the saga had come to an end but part of me can’t help but feel that I was an outsider watching my own generation saying goodbye to an important part of their adolescence. 

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 2 gets 9/10.  This is generous as sections of the film lost it’s spark and they never managed to convey the threat of danger during the Battle of Hogwarts but in terms of ending one of the greatest and most cinematic franchises to date I think it did a bloody good job.

Overall it transpires that I did care a lot more about Harry Potter than I would ever let on ………………………………… although not enough to ever read the books.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

 I need to make it clear before I go any further that I am *not* a Harry Potter fan. I have not so much as touched a book let alone read one.

I made my cinematic début with number four and watched the movies in reverse chronological order until the fifth and sixth instalments came and went both of which I watched, enjoyed and immediately forgot about. 

My girls have long since accepted the fact that I will never read the books and that I really don’t give a flying wizards broomstick about the fate of Harry Potter and I ask you to kindly do the same.

PLOT:  Harry Potter is joined by half of the cast of the last film, and a few new characters whose names I gambled on not bothering to learn, in his living room wherein they devise a cunning plan what will enable them to outrun Voldemorts goons/death eaters/ominous Lost style black smoke on their broomsticks. A quarter of the characters are turned into Harry Potters and hilarious comedy then ensues.

Fred/George gets his ear burnt off and George/Fred laughs heartedly.

The Weasley Ginger Family are having a wedding as they have managed to lure a non ginger into their flock using black magic which no doubt involves sacrificing an overweight Muggle and listening to Simply Red underneath a full moon.

Voldemorts goons/death eaters/ominous Lost style black smoke crash the wedding and I think we are all grateful that an obvious pop music cue was not availed upon and Harry, Ron and Hermione are transported into the forest wherein they partake in copious amounts of camping, walking which is followed by, just for a change, some camping.

What happens to the rest of the cast I do not know but I am vindicated in my earlier decision of not bothering to learn the names of the new characters. 

The trio break into the Ministry of Magic and as so much comedic fun arose from the last body swapping occurrence they do it again, and joy of joys, it lasts much longer than the first scene.  They then go back to the forest for more camping.

A mysterious symbol pops up, we go to Luna’s father for an explanation and Hermione reads us the story of The Three Brothers.  Luna is not home and it makes me sad as she is one of the few memorable bit part characters from the franchise. 

Luna has been kidnapped and as soon as Harry, Ron and Hermione discover this shocking turn of events they run back to the safe haven of the forest and get kidnapped by exactly the same people.

We find ourselves transported to the headquarters of the villains who appeared to be doing nothing more villainous than simply waiting for Harry to fall right into their laps, which he ultimately does.

All looks lost for our heroes until Jar Jar Dobby  arrives and saves them all only to be killed by Bellatrix just as he gets everyone to safety. 

Voldemort robs Gandalf’s (I wrote this by mistake and I decided to keep it in) grave and steals his wand.  Voldemort is happy about this. The movie ends without so much as a “next time on Harry Potter.”  END PLOT

Peter Jackson with Lord of the Rings managed to create three masterpieces which a newcomer could follow with ease without having read the books such was the flowing nature of the storytelling.  Harry Potter has never been any good at this as it relies on its audience knowing what the hell is going on before settling down to watch the movie.  Exposition has never been Harry’s Strong point.

If I were asked under torture I could not explain to my capturer what the Deathly Hallows is/are.  I just don’t know. I think it was explained during the story of The Three Brothers, the best part of the entire movie, but I just don’t have a clue and for the record - I am not asking for an explanation as to be frank it wont make Harry Potter suddenly click in my head.

A few scenes made no sense such as Snape showing up at Voldemort’s house to watch a large snake eat a teacher.  I am told, by fans of the book, that Snape plays a big part in the next movie but at the time it looked as though my favourite character ran over to Volde’s side of the playground for no apparent reason.

A wedding was held between a Weasley I don’t remember and the girl from the Goblet of Fire which came completely out of the blue.  Speaking as someone who didn’t know this particular Weasley even existed I did not feel the need to be a part of his nuptial ceremony. I was again told by the girls that these characters are mentioned quite a bit in the novels but their roles in the movies were greatly reduced to the point that they were never mentioned.  This backs up my point that the Harry Potter movies have been created for the readers of the book who are able to fill in the blanks themselves rather than the general cinema attending public who watch the movies out of curiosity.

Although I am sure fans of the book loved the wedding etc from a film watchers point of view it just made what was an already disjointed plot harder to follow.

I will admit I misjudged the character of Dobby completely.  I was quite pleased during his death scene that I felt the need to look around at my friend happy in the knowledge that I would no longer be annoyed at this awful character only to find her practically weeping into her coat.  Conflicting emotions were rife during the viewing of this film as a character I thought was childish and annoying turned out to be a much loved by fans.

The cast was essentially made up of Daniel Radcliff, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson with everyone else unfortunately reduced to a cameo role.  Reducing the cast to the three friends worked only whenever they were on screen together.  After Ron went off to find himself after suffering some sort of mental breakdown as a result of wearing a necklace the movie really dragged but he showed up in the nick of time to save Harry and then erm get kidnapped.

I could have done without the little Harry/Hermione are they/aren’t they going to get together and in the same vein watching them naked and kissing in yet another evil cloud of black smoke is now filed in the filing cabinet of “repressed memories” in my brain. 

The acting was generally fine but unmemorable which is pretty much the mantra of the franchise with the exception to the rule being Alan “I will steal your scene quicker than you can say I will cut your heart out with a spoon“ Rickman.

The movie only picked up at the end when we arrived at the house of Bellatrix la Strange played by Helena Bonham Carter, there to remind us that once she shakes off the oppressive shackles of the Burton/Depp monotony she always seems to find herself tangled in she is a damn fine actress. 

There were some nice little moments though - I did find myself welling up whenever Harry found his parents grave and I loved the story of The Three Brothers and the way it was shot. 

The movie is two and a half hours long and for what little plot progress was made it could easily have been a good forty-five minutes shorter.  The Deathly Hallows should have been shorter but I didn’t really feel the time go by so I know that on some level I was engaging with it. 

The problem with splitting the Deathly Hallows into two parts is the first half was always going to be teaser of things to come.  I have to say that going on the first half and what little actually occurred they could easily have made one mega finale that at least would have allowed the franchise to go out on a massive high.  This movie will make millions of that I have no doubt but they sacrificed the series by making a half arsed and quite frankly boring movie in order to build up to a, and I have no doubt that it will be, epic final movie.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows gets a 4/10.  I know those of you who love the novels will disagree with me on every point and I completely understand why.  I do not love the characters from JK Rowlings novels - I only know the characters from the films and unfortunately this film is the weakest and most pointless of them all.

After watching the Lord of the Rings I read the novels but because of watching Harry Potter unfortunately the novels will forever remain unread but I will be there in July to see how it all ends. 

It could be worse - at least it wasn’t fucking Twilight. 

Transformers: Dark Side Of The Moon

It is easy to list the faults in Transformers: Dark Side Of The Moon (herein referred to as T3) but the trick is to do it without coming across as an obnoxious and pretentious prick who bangs on about character development and lack of plot.  I knew exactly what to expect as I entered the cinema so to write a blog of this nature would make me look like an idiot…......saying that I will have a bloody good go at it.

PLOT:  After Neil Armstrong made his giant leap for mankind he ran around to the dark side of the moon with Buzz in tow to examine an alien ship.  It turns out that Sentinel Prime had escaped Cybertron just as the Autobots lost the war and crashed landed on the moon.  Sentinel lies there all dusty and alone as the Decepticons wait forty years before deciding to trick the Autobots into reviving him in order to use his teleportation technology to bring all the Decpticons to earth. 
The Decepticons, the devious buggers, also trick the stupid humans into forcing the Autobots to leave earth and all hell breaks loose.
Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is now unemployed and sponging off his ridiculously beautiful new girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) - this has no real relevance to anything but apparently a Transformers film cannot be made without Sam so he must be shoehorned into the film regardless of the cost. 
The Decepticons reek havoc on downtown Chicago. Explosion. Shot of Rose Huntington-Whiteley’s curves. The Autobots arrive just in the nick of time.  Explosion. Shot of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s breasts.  The Decepticons are defeated.  Shot of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looking bemused.  Optimus Prime monologues about peace and tranquillity which will only last until Trans4mers.  END PLOT

The plot of T3 tries to tie itself into actual events and using the moon landing was a clever idea.  The story of Transformer films has never been the problem - the problem is the cast has always been much too large.

The character of Sam was necessary in the first film but after that he was surplus to requirements and you can tell there is absolutely nothing left for him to do in the series.  The first 1/3 of the film is essentially a different film altogether with Sam’s employment issues and resentment towards his much more successful girlfriend.  Sam is a dick for the first hour of the movie, who regresses into a whinny little bitch, turns into a terrified screamer and yet still ends up being the hero. I hate him.

Shia LaBeouf’s career is a mystery to me as he is devoid of looks, charm, charisma, basic acting ability and he is also short which is offensive in itself.  LaBeouf is a Maniston (for those of you who don’t live inside my brain this means he is a male Jennifer Aniston aka someone I despise.  This is the greatest insult I will ever place upon a person)

The fact that Rosie Huntingon-Whiteley had no lines in the trailer did not go unnoticed however she is no worse than Megan Fox and she is not required to do anything other than stand around a look pretty.  I will not be jumping on the bandwagon of hate which has been circling around her performance.

The cameos from John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, Sam’s parents and even the wonderful Alan Tudyk served no purpose and if their scenes were cut from the final product it would have made no difference whatsoever.    

I was so bored during the first hour I actually uttered the phrase “I miss Tyrese Gibson”.  There was much rejoicing when the slow-mo helicopters arrived signifying the start of the action and Gibson and Josh Duhamel finally got to BRING IT!.  Sometimes I just want to watch attractive soldiers blow shit up - the one thing Michael Bay is actually good and we had to wait a lifetime to see it.

Attractive men. Guns. Explosions. How Michael Bay Fucks it all up I will never know

The action (when it came) was impressive - the section in the collapsing building was quite the spectacle and although not Bay’s most impressive freeway chase to date it did suck me in.

A Transformers film wouldn’t be complete without Bumblebee’s life being in danger - let’s face it three movies in and he is the only character worth caring about and Bay played with our heartstrings in this regard yet again.

If only the eyes of the human cast would convey as much emotion as a CGI robot

The action with each Transformers film gets bigger and nosier but it doesn’t necessarily get better - the soldiers didn’t even get to BRING THE RAIN! this time around.  There was too much robot on robot action and not enough shots of Duhamel looking stressed and Gibson screaming BRING IT!

The running time also increases with each instalment yet the Autobots screen time gets considerably reduced - Bumblebee is reduced to a Cameo Camaro and we get lumbered with a couple of tiny bickering “comedy” bots. 

The Decepticons fare no better and Megatron continues to be one of the most useless villains in cinematic history.  We are introduced to Megatron driving through the African desert and once he changes into robot mode we see that this time around he has accessorised with a lovely flowing cape.  This comment serves about as much purpose as most of the cast but it caught my eye and the impracticalities of said cape wouldn't leave my train of thought.

There was a random shot of animals grazing whilst Megatron was safarying but the way the scene was edited it looked as though Megatron was asking a herd of elephants to pledge allegiance to him until the camera panned around and Starscream was inexplicably standing directly behind him.  I think that the Decepticon/elephant alliance may have made a more interesting film. 

I have a real soft spot for the first Transformers as it has action, comedy (the Autobots in stealth mode in Sam’s garden still amuses me) and the Autobots get enough screen time to allow the audience to fall in love with them - when all is said and done it is a brilliant summer film. 

With sequels everything has to be bigger and louder and on paper Michael Bay, the BRINGER! of BAYHEM!, should excel at this but he just isn’t capable as his vision is so limited.

T3 will make so much money it is only a matter of time before the next film gets the green light.  There is no point in film critics getting on their high horses as Michael Bay will just blow them up - another instalment is coming.

T3 bulldozes it’s way to a 6/10.  It a vast improvement on the second film but it is in desperate need of a new director at the helm and a major cast cull to freshen up the franchise - just pray that Brett Ratner is unavailable. 

I think that on the scale of obnoxious pricks I do come across as having moderate levels of dickery and illiteracy. 

The Conspirator

Norman Reedus season had taken a short hiatus due to lack of funds, dvds and willpower to sit through Blade2 but it was back with aplomb as The Conspirator was finally released.

PLOT:  Abraham Lincoln has just been assassinated and with The Conspirators safely behind bars Fred Aiken, (James McAoy) a young captain who fought in the war, has been given the charge of defending Mary Surratt, (Robin Wright) the mother of the only conspirator who managed to escape.  Aiken reluctantly prepares his defence and discovers that Mary was not directly involved in the conspiracy but has been arrested as she refuses to give up the whereabouts of her son.  Aiken tries to find John Surratt in order to save his client from the gallows but is up against a courtroom and a society hell bent on revenge/swift justice on those involved in Lincoln’s assassination.  There is a conspiracy (poor I know).  There is severe miscasting.  There is no happy Hollywood ending.  END PLOT

Right off the bat I should point out that I know very little about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln other than he was shot and killed at the theatre by John Wilkes-Booth and keeping true to form I have carried out no research whatsoever in order to determine if the events which took place in The Conspirator are historically accurate. 

The film well written and the content of the plot is strong.  Aiken constantly put forward the argument of Mary’s constitutional rights and that she should be tried under a civilian court of her peers but this never happened.  The Conspirator also played up the hysteria which followed the assassination and the fact that the Court Tribunal was hell-bent on having people hang for the crime regardless of their level of involvement.  This is the part of the film which really caught my attention and I think it would have made it stronger if they developed this further. 

The pace of the film is very slow which suited it.  This is not a modern courtroom thriller complete with stylish linguistic manipulation of the jury - the drama within the courtroom scenes is very much in line with what was acceptable at the time. 

The story of Mary Surratt was completely new to me and I blame Hollywood, rather than my own historical ignorance, for the fact that I watched the entire film waiting for the moment she would be released.  I waited for John Surratt to turn himself in thereby saving his mother right up until she went to the gallows and it obviously never came. 

During the closing credits we were informed that John Surratt was given a civilian trial and as his involvement could not be proved beyond all reasonable doubt he was set free - this is a story I will keep in mind if I ever move across to American historical novels.

I will watch James McAvoy in anything - he is an actor of my generation and when my grandchildren are discovering film he will be the one I force upon them as the dashing young star of my time.  As the film was paced so slowly it fell to McAvoy to hold the audiences interest and he led the cast and the film with ease. 

Robin Wright is one of those actresses who pops up occasionally and she also very good as Mary Surratt.

The supporting cast of Tom Wilkinson, Danny Glover and Evan Rachel Wood also put in strong performances. 

The weak link in the film is Justin Long.  The how’s and whys of his casting are totally lost on me in all of the films he has appeared in but his surprise appearance irritated me and every time he was on screen I couldn’t stop the stomach clenching hate that is attached to him.

Norman Reedus’ role is tiny - so tiny he does not have many lines or much to do at all.  He does get a couple of scenes in flashbacks but mostly he sits in the courtroom and scowls at everyone.  The Daryl Dixon Stare is attractive and downright distracting in any era - there are few people I will stop watching James McAvoy to look at and he is one of them.  October cannot come quickly enough.  It does have to be said that with The Conspirator McAvoy was the reason and Reedus was the bonus.

The only way I could have loved Lewis Payne more is if he said something charmingly racist.... I am a flawed person........

The Conspirator is the first Robert Redford directed film I have watched although it is also the first which appealed.  I do like a good historical film and The Conspirator is just that.  It lacked a certain spark or that one big scene to tip it over into the lower end of the epic scale but it cannot be considered a shabby film.  It gets a very solid 7/10 and will most likely be picked up on dvd sometime down the line for a rewatch.