G.I Joe: Retaliation

If you put Channing Tatum in a film with The Rock I will automatically be on board.  There is no point in pretending otherwise.

I wasn’t expecting G.I Joe: Retaliation to be a game changer but anything less than a big noisy action film would be considered a disappointment.

PLOT:  After the Joes are branded traitors by the President of America they set out to clear their name. Storm Shadow fights with his top off and I switch allegiance. Cobra blows up London and no one cares.  The Joes save the day. END PLOT

I have kept my plot description brief as there was so much crammed into Retaliation that I had absolutely no idea what was happening.  The plot is an incomprehensible mess and in order to keep up I had to stick to the basics – Joes = good, Cobra = bad and when the Rock starts sweating profusely I knew that shit was either going down or about to get real.

Like G.I Joe: Rise of the Cobra the subplot between Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) is much more interesting that the main arc.  Storm Shadow enjoyed quite a lot of screen time which pleased me.

The action motors along at breakneck speed although it never gets a chance to flow as the camera is constantly cutting and jerking around.  The best set piece was the mountain chase which was a key feature in the trailer.  This sequence is much longer in the film and was quite spectacular.

The hand to hand combat scenes were decently choreographed and much more exciting to watch than the explosions.  A few more of these, starring Storm Shadow, would not have been unwelcome.

The 3D aspect was practically non-existent aside from the exploding fireflies.  The action was so frantic the 3D almost hindered it as it made it harder to focus on what was happening.

The Rock leads the chaos with ease and like him or not he is made for this type of role.  Channing Tatum’s sudden increase in popularity meant that last minute re-shoots were required to include some Rock/Tatum buddy scenes. 

The rest of the cast which was made up of Adrianne Palicki, Elodie Young, Ray Stevenson and D.J Controna were decent although they were not required to do much other than look gorgeously badass.  Bruce Willis phoned in his lines from a dying handset.

Jon Chu, the director of two Step Ups and a Justin Bieber documentary, may not have been the best choice to handle such a film.  If the filmmakers embraced the ridiculousness of the Joe vs Cobra battle and added some campy fun the overall tone of the film would have fared a lot better. 

G.I Joe: Retaliation gets 6/10.  If you are prepared to go with the flow and accept that for the vast majority of the 110min (IMDB) running time you will be in a constant state of confusion the film isn’t that bad. I would even go as far as to say that G.I Joe: Retaliation was good.  It has the Rock so is there really cause to complain? 

Jack the Giant Slayer

My interest in Jack the Giant Slayer was non-existent until I noticed Stanley Tucci in the trailer.   Tucci is one of those actors who can transform a film with nothing more than a cameo so my curiosity was piqued.

Nicholas Hoult’s status was high after Warm Bodies and Brian Singer gets the benefit of the doubt because of X-Men.

Jack the Giant Slayer couldn’t fail. Could it?

PLOT:  Jack (Nicholas Hoult) swaps his horse for some beans and unwittingly grows a huge beanstalk which joins earth with a land filled with man eating Giants.  After Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) gets kidnapped by the giants Jack, Elmont (Ewan McGregor) and Roderick (Stanley Tucci) set off to rescue her.  As Jack and Isabelle climb down the beanstalk they are followed by the giants who are determined to go to war.  END PLOT

Everyone knows the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, a popular fairy tale that can be read in about 5mins.  The idea of stretching this story over the course of a 114min (IMDB) film was a major mistake.

The plot is paper thin and straddles along the line between old fashioned and lazy.  The premise of an overbearing father sending a team of manly men to rescue a damsel in distress just doesn’t work anymore, at least not on such an obvious manner.

Brian Singer has proved that sometimes short children’s stories should remain as they were intended.  A trip to the editing room to trim the film down to a 90min family film would have removed the dud and unfunny filler scenes which brought the film to a halt. 

Nicholas Hoult is fine as Jack and has a quintessentially British charm.  I am paying him a compliment but he needs to choose his next couple of roles very carefully as there is a change he may evolve into Hugh Grant albeit a less creepy version. Eleanor Tomlinson as Jack’s love interest is fine in a thankless role.

Stanley Tucci is restrained and not allowed to steal the show.  This was a wasted opportunity.

The supporting characters are a tale of two Ewans.  Ewan McGregor, with hair styled so perfectly that it will cause Jason Bateman is exhale sarcastically when he sees it, is great fun as Elmont.  McGregor is clearly having great fun and it comes across very well on screen.  Ewan Bremner as Roderick’s lackey falls flat on his face and is embarrassing to watch.

The giants looked impressive but their overly Northern Irish accents meant that they were more annoying than sinister.  It is hard to take a threat seriously from a group of people who sound like they are from a housing estate in Belfast regardless of their height advantage.

Overall the effects were decent but the film didn’t come to life until the Giants clambered down the beanstalk and attacked the city.  Unfortunately by this stage it was too late as the only thing I was interested in was leaving the screen.

Jack the Giant Slayer doesn’t work as it is too predictable to be considered an epic tail and takes itself too seriously to have any tongue-in-cheek humour.   It gets a 4/10.

 

I am now terrified that Brian Singer is going to ruin X-Men.  This is not something I ever thought possible.

Ripper Street - A Man of My Company

 

After further questions were raised about Jackson’s past by Constantine in Tournament of Shadows Ripper Street didn’t waste time in giving us a Jackson-centric episode.  There had been hints about a dark past scattered throughout the season and episode7, A Man of My Company, promised to answer them.

 

There are anachronistic errors in the episode but I can only comment on those that I noticed myself.  My knowledge of ships, rudders and sailing methods is none existent and as per usual I have given the makers the benefit of the doubt.

Although the series has finished its television run the usual spoiler warning still stands.  If you do not wish to read spoilers kindly mosey along now.

PLOT:  Reid (Matthew Macfadyen) and Drake (Jerome Flynn) investigate the murder of Samuel Fanthorpe, an employee of a local shipping company, which is in the process of being bought by Swift Intercontinental a rival American firm.  Theadore Swift (Ian McElhinney) arrives in London to complete the purchase and is accompanied by a branch of the Pinkertons headed by Frank Goodnight (Edoardo Ballerini).  With the Pinkertons in town and not subtle in their desire to find Susan (MyAnna Buring) Jackson’s (Adam Rothenberg) past comes back to haunt him and has costly consequences for H Division.   END PLOT

Each episode of Ripper Street comes with some form of social context however A Man of My Company skims over this usual feature.  The engineering developments and the effect it will have on the shipping trade are mentioned in passing and not covered in any great depth.  This is not a complaint as there was so much going on in this episode something had to be sacrificed.

A Man of My Company is complicated and branches off into several subplots which come crashing together during the final third of the episode.  The fast pacing of the storylines helped to amplify the tension and sense of urgency throughout this episode.

Episode7 had one of the biggest television shocks in recent memory with the murder of Constable Hobbs (Jonathan Barnwell).  Hobbs was killed in the same manner as Samuel Fanthorpe and as Jackson had described this death in great detail it made watching poor Hobbs suffer the same fate all the more distressing.  I didn’t see it coming and several weeks later I can’t quite believe that they killed the character off.

The loss of the fantastic Jonathan Barnwell at this stage of Ripper Street's short run was a bold move.  Production of season1 appeared to be completed long before it was announced that a second season would be made.  I can’t help but feel that if the renewal decision was made during the filming of season1 Hobbs may not have met such an early demise.

The death of Hobbs was handled well with all of the characters getting a moment to share their grief – Drake's “Not the boy” was a brilliantly delivered line but was topped by Artherton’s “Mr Reid, when you find the person what done this, we may kill them, may we not sir?. 

Matthew Macfadyen and Jerome Flynn were excellent at repressing their emotion over Hobb’s death but, as per usual, Adam Rothenberg steals the show.

Jackson and Susan’s love story almost appeared from nowhere due to the characters having a very limited amount of screen time together.  If they had the chance to share a few more moments with each other over the course of the season it would have given greater credence to their declarations of love.  The performances of Adam Rothenberg and MyAnna Buring made up for this as when the actors get the opportunity they have great chemistry – hopefully the writers will have taken note of this and we will see more of their relationship in season2.

The pistols at dawn showdown between Jackson and Goodnight, which took place in broad daylight on Leman Street, may have required some suspension of belief as it isn’t likely that police officers would allow such a duel to take place.  It gets a free pass as it suited Jackson’s character perfectly.  The fact that he bent the rules meant that the duel was won it in typical Jackson fashion.  Susan’s “I never knew a man who could make cheating so heroic” sums the character up perfectly.

MyAnna Buring is usually the strongest female cast member and in A Man of My Company she excelled.  It was interesting to hear that Susan’s real name is Caitlin showing that she is just as capable as Jackson at creating a new identity.

Jackson’s secret life may have been a bit of an anti-climax but A Man of My Company made for brilliant television.  It was by no means a perfect episode but it is easily my favourite.  It gets 9.5/10.  The cliff-hanger with Jackson being framed as Jack the Ripper will bring the series full circle in the final episode.

Lines of the week:

Reid:  “What little I know of you, I know this, you would not fire on me”.  (Reid to Jackson).  Macfadyen had some great moments of repressed anger but this line shows that after everything he is still willing to put faith in Jackson. 

 

Drake: “You come to me out of fear Rose, not natural affection.  I know I am not much but I am worth better than that”.  (Drake to Rose)  This was a great throwback to The Weight of One Man’s Heart.  Drake’s pride won over love as he turned down Rose’s advances.  It was a great little character moment for Drake and a complete turnaround from his previous actions.

Jackson:   “This is my home field” (Jackson to Goodnight).  Jackson freely admitted that Goodnight was a faster draw earlier in the episode and yet he still challenged him to a gunfight.  Jackson is usually the smartest person in the room and even when the odds are against him he will come out on top......Goodnight had the last laugh though.....

Red Dawn

 

I will admit right from the start that I was excited about Red Dawn.  There will never be a time when I am not excited about an action film when I am a fan of the leading actor.

The fact that Red Dawn is a remake of an alleged 1980’s classic means nothing to me.  I understand the adoration lavished upon 80’s action films but as I am not of that generation I don’t really care – come and see me in twenty-five years time when they remake the Bourne films.

PLOT:  A quiet morning in Suburban USA is interrupted when North Korea invades.  US Marine Jed Eckhert (Chris Hemsworth) rounds up his brother Matt (Josh Peck) and a group of teenagers and before we can all sing Team America the Wolverines deploy guerrilla tactics on the streets of Downtown USA to annoy the North Koreans.  Subway is the last franchise standing.  END PLOT

Whether it is 1984 or 2013 there is no hiding the fact that the entire premise of Red Dawn is ridiculous.  Action films are usually viewed for pure escapism but even I struggled to suspend reality for the 93min running time. 

The ridiculous concept clashed heavily with the overly serious tone – a bit of tongue in cheek humour may have helped but there were no laughs or witty quips.  Attempting to make Red Dawn a serious war film only highlighted its flaws.

The action was fine but unremarkable although, in fairness to the film, there were decent attempts to keep the idea of teenagers in a military setting grounded. 

Chris Hemsworth is a capable lead and walks away with his dignity left intact.  The supporting cast which included Jeffrey Dean Morgan (born to play a Marine) and Adrianne Palicki were all fine.

I am blessed with a big family but also cursed as this means I have watched more children’s television in recent years that I would have liked.  As Drake and Josh are sworn enemies of mine I was never going to warm to Josh Peck. Unfortunately Peck was horribly miscast as Hemsworth’s younger brother and my hatred was inflamed. 

The miscasting was all the more glaring whenever you saw Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson together – they had much more chemistry and would have made a much better pairing.  Hutcherson was surprisingly decent and like Hemsworth can walk away not looking too embarrassed.

North Korea was fine as the villain and didn’t do much aside from transport prisoners around in a yellow bus and scowl occasionally in the general direction of the Wolverines. 

Despite the ridiculous premise Red Dawn should have worked as a fun action comedy but as it took itself far too seriously it was, at best, a wasted opportunity.

Red Dawn is one of those films that isn’t good but you cannot bring yourself to admit that it is bad.  It gets a 5.5/10 and may just find its way onto my dvd shelf if I spy it on sale.

The Croods

The trailer for The Croods looked fine but I had no real desire to see the film.  These days seeing one film in the cinema is considered a waste so to make the trip worth my while I needed another film and refused point blank to sit through Burt Wonderstone.

The Croods was considered the lesser of two evils but given that it was Dreamworks perhaps I should have been paying attention right from the start.

PLOT: Eep (Emma Stone) is forced to live in a cave by her overprotective father Grug (Nicolas Cage). Fed up, Eep sneaks out of the cave during the night and meets Guy, (Ryan Reynolds) a forward thinking inventor, who tells Eep that the world is coming to an end.  After the Croods’ cave is destroyed Grug forces a reluctant Guy to lead them safety.  END PLOT

Although set in a prehistoric era The Croods follows the usual family drama beats but is more than capable of pulling the emotional punches with the frayed father/daughter relationship.

The script is fast paced with some of the bickering being surprisingly quotable. There is plenty of humour to be found with several running jokes, plenty of giggles and a few big laugh aloud moments. 

The animation was stunning but the set pieces, such as the breakfast hunt, were fantastic to watch – the action flowed seamlessly and was filled with humour.  The breakfast hunt reminded me of The Incredibles but, dare I say it, better!

I am not a fan of Nicolas Cage but I think with animation he has found a place where his over enthusiastic method of acting pays off.  Cage was great fun and leads the cast as stubborn Grug with ease

Emma Stone was as reliable as ever and even Ryan Reynolds worked as Guy.  The voice casting was spot on with there being no weak link.

I don’t know why I am surprised by the quality of The Croods as Dreamworks has been on a steady ascension when it comes to quality animation.  The Croods is great fun and gets 8/10.  If there is a sequel I wont be unhappy.

Oz the Great and Powerful

 

The trailer for Oz the Great and Powerful (hereafter referred to as Oz) did nothing for me.  This isn’t to say that I went into Oz being overly negative but when a trailer cannot sell a film alarm bells start to ring softly in the distance.

PLOT:  Oz (James Franco) is a womanising dick and part time magician who travels around Kansas with a circus.  A freak tornado transports him to the magical kingdom of Oz where he becomes a magician and part time womanising dick.    Oz finds himself in the midst of a political thriller involving the murder of a king and a power struggle between three witches.  There is also a flying monkey (Zach Braff) and a terrifying talking doll (Satan's spawn).  END PLOT

The only complaint I have about the plot is the running length.  At 130mins Oz was far too long and I was bored for large chunks of the film.

The origin of the vast majority of my complaints is James Franco.  Franco’s lack of charm meant that Oz was very unlikeable and I didn’t care about his return to save the people of Oz.  I was routing for Rachel Weisz the entire time.

James Franco was simply awful as Oz and appeared to be attempting some bizarre homage to Johnny Depp.  If Johnny Depp cannot pull off a convincing impression of Johnny Depp anymore neither can James Franco.  The casting of Franco was a major misstep that the film never recovered from.

Mila Kunas was reduced to a screeching green wench and the casting as Michelle "blond n bland" Williams as a delicate, blond and bland princess was so perfect I think Williams should be offended by her own performance.

Thank the gods for Rachel Weisz.  Weisz is the only person to come out of this mess with a decent performance and her dignity intact.

The effects, especially when we first arrived in Oz, did not blend in well as whenever Oz and Theodora (Mila Kunis) were walking along the yellow brick road the entire scene screamed of cheap green screen.  On a film with a budget of $200million (IMDB) this is not acceptable.

Once the kingdom of Oz was established and the film tried to settle down the effects did improve and the creatures and colours on offer became quite spectacular. 

The only thing about Oz that cannot be faulted was the costume design as the witches and residents of Oz looked amazing.  Unfortunately decent costumes are not enough to make a bad film good.

I hated Oz.  I hated every single second of the 130min running time.  It is one of those films that was so bad I started to feel awkward while watching it.  I even hate the title, which I, with my casual attitude towards grammar, feel the need to punctuate.

I have no idea how a director such as Sam Raimi managed to make such a mess of what had the potential to be a very decent film.

Oz the neither great nor powerful gets a generous 2.5/10.

The only lasting impression I will get from Oz is nightmares about the china doll and Franco's shit eating grin.

 

Side Effects

Side Effects appeared in the listings with next to no advertising.  Luckily a very convincing trailer had played in the cinema last week otherwise the film would have passed me by completely.

PLOT:  After her husband Martin (Channing Tatum) is released from prison Emily (Rooney Mara) spirals into a deep depression.   Emily agrees to take part in a clinical trial for a new pill Ablixa by her doctor, Jonathan Banks (Jude Law) however once on the medication she starts to suffer side effects which include sleep walking.  In her sleep walking state Emily stabs and kills her husband and is sent to a mental institution.  As Jonathan delves deeper into Emily’s medical history he realises that her reaction to the medication is not at all what it seems.  END PLOT

Side Effects is a very slow paced thriller but if you are prepared to settle in and allow the events to unfold you will be rewarded. The twist is cleverly executed and I will confess that I did not see it coming.

My main complaint in the storytelling was perhaps the lack of ambiguity at the end of the film.  There was nothing left to debate on the journey home as every plot thread had been neatly wrapped up.

Rooney Mara is excellent as the tortured Emily and given the nature of the plot twist it makes her performance at the beginning of the film stronger with hindsight.

Jude Law is the films true lead and although he is very capable Mara steals every scene they are in together.

The most likeable actors in Hollywood Channing Tatum and Catherine Zeta-Jones pop up in strong supporting roles.

The cinematography was gorgeous with the sweeping closing shot being one of the best moments in the film.

This is a ridiculously short review as the more I write the more inclined I am to spoil the film so I think it is best to quit while I am ahead not behind.

I have never been able to call myself a fan of Steven Soderberg but Side Effects proves that it’s time I seek out Soderberg’s back catalogue.  It is typical that the film that makes me sit up and take notice of a director is reportedly his last.  Side Effects deserves a 9/10 and is most definitely worth your time.  

Stoker

 

 

Despite not giving away any plot details whatsoever the trailer for Stoker was enough to convince me that I wanted to see the film.

PLOT:  Following the death of her father India’s (Mia Wasikowska) estranged uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode) moves into the family home that she shares with her mother Evie (Nicole Kidman).  It is only after India makes a gruesome discovery that she begins to take an unhealthy interest in her uncle.  END PLOT

The only way I can describe the plot of Stoker without giving away major spoilers is that it is essentially the coming of age story of a budding sociopath. 

The script is very light on dialogue which means that quite a lot of the scenes rely on the casts’ acting abilities to get their emotions across.  Luckily they are more than up to the task and several of the dialogue free scenes are filled with genuine tension.

Mia Wasikowska is surely one of the best young actresses around and in Stoker she once again proves why.  Wasikowska manages to come across as delicate and hard as nails at the same time which is a testament to her talent.

Kidman is as reliable as ever and Matthew Goode is effectively creepy as the mysterious Charlie Stoker.

Stoker is a gorgeous film with the cinematography being absolutely stunning.   There isn’t a dud shot in the entire film.

The only real complaint I would have is that although the pacing was deliberately slow it did make a 98min film feel much longer.  Stoker felt long but I was always invested in the film and never felt bored.

I know that Stoker is a great film – the performances and the cinematography were second to none but when it comes down to it I have no love for it and will fall into the category of great films that will only be watched one.  Stoker gets 8.5/10.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

 

I may as well admit that I was more excited about Hansel and Gretel than I should have been.  Blame Jeremy Renner.

I didn’t even bother to keep my expectations in check.  The trailer made it clear that Hansel and Gretel was going to be absolute nonsense and I went to the cinema comforted by this knowledge.

PLOT:  After their parents abandon them in the middle of a wood Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) are lured to a sweet covered house whereupon they are captured by a witch.  Hansel and Gretel defeat the witch and grow up into fierce witch hunters.  Twelve children go missing in the town of Augsburg which leads Hansel and Gretel to discover that the Grand Witch (Famke Janssen) is conjuring a spell that makes witches immune to fire.  END PLOT 

The opening scenes play out the traditional Grimm fairy tale however once Hansel and Gretel grow up we are introduced to a world where anachronistic errors and steampunk are living together in perfect harmony.

The plot is paper thin but its sole purpose is to string together a series of decent chase scenes through a picturesque forest.  This isn’t a complaint.  I didn’t go to see Hansel and Gretel expecting a dark psychological insight into sugar addiction and failed parenting.

The casting of Jeremy Renner was the main draw and he didn’t disappoint.  Renner is his usual bored/angry self and gets the chance to throw in a couple of sarcastic quips.  Hansel (who is so hot right now) is also a diabetic which caused much unintentional amusement when he almost slipped into a diabetic coma during the final battle.

Gemma Arterton is grand as Gretel and does a commendable America accent.  One can only assume that Arterton's American accent was better than Renner's English but given the numerous accents that can apparently be found in the rural German countryside I doubt anyone would have noticed if she hadn't bothered. 

Despite being a formidable duo Hansel and Gretel spent quite a lot of time apart and the film suffered for it as when they were together Renner and Arterton had chemistry.  The final scene gave the obligatory sequel hints and I would expect to see a lot more brother/sister banter if this ever occurs.

The supporting cast of Famke Janssen and Thomas Mann, as a young hunter, are fine if unremarkable. 

The action is good and all of the bloody deaths (and there were plenty) are played for laughs.  Tommy Wirkola adopts a similar attitude towards gore as he did in Dead Snow and it suited the tone of the film perfectly. 

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters gave me exactly what I expected so I have no cause to complain.  It gets 7.5/10.  If you keep your expectations low and just enjoy the ridiculousness it is great fun.