Saturday, 3 November 2012

My top ten sexiest male fictional characters

I am not one for lists but after a mass tweeting of attractive pictures on twitter those epically awesome people involved and myself each decided to compile a formal pictorial list, purely for research purposes of course. 

I did post this on Tumblr in an attempt to improve my picture uploading skills but I realised as soon as I posted it that the list looked exactly like it would if I used my usual blog hence the (100% unnecessary) double post.


No. ten:  Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe)
The West Wing is one of the greatest television shows ever made and it created some of tv’s best written characters.  I appreciate that a huge chunk of the credit must go to Aaron Sorkin but Rob Lowe as Sam Seaborn brought a bit of glamour to the constant rushing around and fast paced dialogue.  When Sam put on his glasses you knew that shit was getting real and his earnest attitude towards fixing America made him utterly adorable.  There is an argument to be had that the show started to go downhill when he left.

No nine: Beast (Possessed Prince)
Stay with me please, I am not crazy or into anything freaky I promise you. The Beast starts off as an angry, father kidnapping bastard who evolves into a wolf fighting, spoon using, snowball fight losing, library giving softy.  When Beast gives Belle the library I am sold.  The ballroom dance scene is the perfect date and at the end when there is always the chance that the Beast might actually die it is one of the most stressful parts of any film I have ever watched.

Beast then becomes human and the magic is killed.

No eight: Face (Dirk Benedict)
To hell with Bradley Cooper and his machine gun tottin’ antics in the film, Dirk Benedict’s Face, who hated to get his hands dirty as he was so damn good looking made for a much better character.    Granted he isn't the best in a gun fight but if you urgently need a Cadillac in the middle of the Vietnamese jungle Face is your man.  The ultimate conman who never veered into sleazy territory.

No seven:  Black Hat (Karl Urban)
It was due to Mr Urban’s effortlessly attractive hat wearing awesomeness in the god awful Priest that started the hotly contested debate about the top ten sexiest characters.  Despite being the villains Karl and his hat made for quite the scene stealing double team.  The film would have been a much more pleasant experience if it was just a 90min shot of this mighty fine duo.  

No six: Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles)
The writing in Supernatural may have ebbed and flowed over the years but the shows main constant was the ridiculous attractiveness of Dean Winchester.  This constant pop culture referencing, smart arse with father issues which are only beaten by his closeted alcoholism does make for one of the best tortured male lead crushes in history.  
Kindly multiply this by at least x100,000,000 if he is either kidnapped or bleeding.  If he happens to be doing both at the same time the rest of mankind is absolutely fucked.

No five: Cpl Dwayne Hicks (Michael Biehn)
Despite being over twenty-five years old Aliens still remains one of my all time favourite action movies.  Aliens is helped along nicely by the casting of Michael Biehn, James Cameron’s Official Heartthrob circa 1985/1986.  A badass marine with a soft spot for children who stays always stays frosty?  I should think so. 

No four: Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus)
Daryl Dixon, the wisecracking, semi racist, redneck with a soft spot for children whose weapon of choice is a crossbow was always going to make the list.
You just have to look at the shows opening credits throughout the three seasons of The Walking Dead, or as I prefer to call it, the evolution of Daryl’s popularity, to see how important this dude is to the show.

No three:  Aramis (Jeremy Irons)
We shall ignore the huge black spot on this character’s reputation as he was also played by Charlie Sheen and focus solely on the Jeremy Irons version of Aramis.
I have read Dumas’ books and Aramis easily my favourite character.  Studying to be a priest he hates violence, once a priest he becomes a ninja like warrior - his fickle nature means Aramis never sits still and his antics in Twenty Years Later are the best part of the entire series.  Aramis is a secret player which worries even D'Artagnan when he finds out.
Irons’ version doesn’t quite show Aramis’ Machiavellian undertones as in the books the character doesn’t really give a shit about the Man in the Iron Mask but merely sees it as another means to become Pope.  Books or films there is no hiding the coolness of Aramis.

 Luke Evans; further that the WHAT THE FUCK query in respect of Charlie Sheen's casting is more than justified.

No two: Neil Caffrey
White Collar is my go to guilty pleasure tv show. I get bored very easily with procedurals but White Collar is the exception.  Without the casting of Matt Bomer as Neil Caffrey and his chemistry with the camera, his hat and the rest of the show White Collar would be instantly forgettable.  Neil Caffrey is an intelligent, non-violent, attractive every-man who can’t resist the next con.  His ability to talk himself out of trouble is a handy attribute.  Did I mention the hat?

No one: Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen)
Aragorn.  Where to start?  Well look in the dictionary under sexy characters and there you will find his picture.  I’d follow him as my Captain and my King right into the fiery gates of Mordor.  Over the course of three loooong films Aragorn fought his way through Middle Earth occasionally clutching his necklace given to him by his one true love.  Fuck you Eowyn.
Aragorn is the ultimate sword wielding hero whose only weakness is falling off a cliff after getting himself caught on a suicidal wolf.  This weakness is superseded by the fact that he is rescued by a horse in a scene so moving that Walt Disney burst an blood vessel in a jealous rage.

When Aragorn finally steps up to be King he gets his dramatic “white horse” speech in which woman everywhere took up arms and ran straight into their televisions.

I prefer to stop the film before he grows a beard and devours Liv Tyler.


  1. Good choices. Some I know (*ahem* Jensen) and others I don't but I like the choices you made.

    1. Thank you.

      This is probably the most unnecessary blog I have ever written but I can't pretend it wasn't fun to do the research

      K :-)