Dead Man Down

 

The only reason I went to see Dead Man Down was because a gap appeared in the listings between Iron Man 3 and Star Trek 2.  The person in charge of release dates chose wisely and earned his pay cheque.

PLOT:  After witnessing her neighbour murder a man from her apartment window Beatrice (Noomi Rapace) blackmails Victor (Colin Farrell) into killing the drink-driver who left her with facial scars.  As an uneasy alliance grows it becomes clear that Victor isn’t a cold hearted killer but a grieving father/husband who is waiting for the opportune moment to exact revenge on their killer, his employer Alphonse (Terrence Howard). END PLOT

The familiar plot is hampered by a ridiculously slow pace and for a film that clocks in at 118mins (IMDB) this was a major problem.  The lack of pace means that there was no tension and it's the first time in quite a while that I been bored in the cinema.

Colin Farrell tries hard to save Dean Man Down but the task is just too great.  Farrell is a good actor trapped in a vicious cycle of shite blockbusters that no one likes and Indie films that no one watches.  Unfortunately for Farrell, Dean Man Down is a hybrid of the two and is a shite film that no one will watch.  Not even the extended set piece of Colin hoovering his apartment with his top unzipped could raise my interest.

 

Noomi Rapace is riding the wave of the Millennium Trilogy very well but when it comes to film choices she has never done anything mildly interesting and Dead Man Down is no exception.

The action scenes are non-existent with the final battle being nothing more dramatic than a shoot-out in a mansion. *Yawn* I got secondary boredom from recalling the memory.

My review of Dean Man Down is shorter than usual (thank the gods I hear you mutter) because there is absolutely nothing to say. It’s a familiar premise rehashed in the most boring way possible.  If your script isn’t ground breaking at least have the common decency to blow shit up instead.  Dead Man Down gets 3/10. 

I will admit that the “try to spot the WWE wrestler” challenge kept me occupied but it was game over the second he spoke.