300

Now that Reedus Season is on a hiatus until The Walking Dead returns it is time to move on to Fassbender Season.  The Bender Wagon has rolled into town and its first delivery is 300.

I originally reviewed 300 when it was released in the cinema however in order to embrace the arrival of said 'Wagon I have written a fresh blog for your enjoyment/general not giving a toss.

PLOT:  The thousand nations of the Persian army are descending upon Greece.  Leonidas, (Gerard Butler) the King of Sparta, leads his army of 300 to Hell’s Gate in order to hold off Xerxes and his fast approaching army of slaves.  The Spartans hold their position until they are betrayed by a Spartan outcast.  There are battles.  There are manly battle cries.  There are arrows which can blot out the sun.  There is blood. There is fighting in the shade.  There is a goat playing a sitar. There is much “swooning and fluttering”.  Contrary to popular belief only 299 die.  END PLOT

The plot of 300 is thinner than an Oracle’s dress but it doesn’t particularly matter as 300 doesn’t attempt to place itself up there with Gladiator. 

Gerard Butler yells his way through the film with a wonderfully unhidden Scottish accent.  This is one of my favourite Butler performances but I can’t work out if it is because he is good or bad or, in the same vein, if I have complimented or insulted him.

The supporting cast are fine and it goes without saying that Michael Fassbender is the best thing in the entire film – he gets the best lines and several decent set pieces. I have decided to keep hold of what little dignity I have left by refraining from gushing like a crazy idiot......after all a picture says a thousand words.....

  War wouldn't be so ugly if all soldiers used L'Oreal.

The running time of the film is surprisingly close to two hours although it never feels boring.  The pacing does dip dramatically when we head back to Sparta in order to allow the Queen (Lena Heady) to get involved with the politics of war but once action starts then the film finds its feet. 

The choreographed fight scenes suit the stylish feel of the film and although there is plenty of blood and some grotesque characters it never strays into that uncomfortably violent territory. 

The score is very loud and brash which works perfectly with the tone of 300 but it isn’t one I would ever listen to outside of the film.

I absolutely loved the 300 in the cinema but I never had any inclination to buy it on dvd as I didn’t think it would hold up well outside the cinematic experience.  I am pleased to report that when you turn the 5.1 up to the max it doesn’t lose any of the cinema factor.

If you look at 300 critically then there are flaws, for example, the dialogue ranges from cheesy to just god awful but overall there is just something about the film that I cannot help but love and it is a love which runs deeper than Fassbender’s CGI’d abs. 

300 gets respectably strong 8/10.  It very much a film which places style over substance but on occasion it's fun to get caught up in the noisy mayhem of semi-naked manliness and quite frankly if you don't agree then you are lying......

Drive

My attempts to have a Ryan Gosling Cinema Day unfortunately failed due to logistics and cinema listings conspiring against me but it did mean a sneaky Monday night trip after work to see Drive as Crazy Stupid Love was the easier Friday night option.

PLOT:  Ryan Gosling plays The Driver/The Kid a quiet, nameless stunt driver who quietly falls for his neighbour Irene (Carey Mulligan).  After Irene’s husband Standard gets out of prison The Kid quietly agrees to be his driver in an armed robbery of a pawn shop.  The robbery goes nosily wrong and The Kid quietly and violently finds himself trying to drive his way out of a bigger gangland conspiracy.  There is silence.  There is driving.  There is some more silence.  There is heartbreak. Clint Eastwood The Kid drives off into the sunset.  There is no happy ending.  END PLOT

The plot follows the beats of westerns of old with The Kid riding into town in his Impala and defeating the bad guys before exiting via a dreamy sunset.

Ryan Gosling is in almost every scene of the film yet has very few lines and when his character does speak it’s in short monosyllabic sentences.  The Driver’s relationship with Irene grows through looks and silences and Gosling’s performance coupled with Carey Mulligan’s ability to look emotionally vulnerable on cue makes their relationship very intriguing to watch.

The supporting cast is made up of a who’s who of current tv shows with Bryan Cranston, Ron Perlman and Christina Hendricks all popping up in what can only be described as extended cameos.

The driving action and the violence is gritty and completely devoid of Hollywood sheen and suited the tone of the film.

I was forewarned by a more knowledgeable member of The Nerdy Trio (it feels like ages since we have gotten a shout out!) that I may not like the soundtrack as it would have an electronic sound.  This is the type of score that I usually despise and I think I am in the minority with my absolute hatred of the Daft Punk Tron score but I loved the music in Drive.

The opening credits had an old school 80’s feel to them and the electronic music worked bizarrely well with the film.

I went to see Drive with the expectation of seeing a fast car based action flick and this is exactly what I did not get. Drive is very slow paced with the action and the performances of Gosling and Mulligan being very understated.

Drive gets a 9/10. I think it is a film that people will either love or hate – I don’t think there is much room for a middle ground with this one. 

In terms of a short lived Ryan Gosling run – the better film was kept until last.

Crazy Stupid Love

 

Crazy Stupid Love was not a film on my radar and when I saw the trailer my emotional interest peaked at “meh” so it was down to the enthusiasm of others that I was there on opening night.

PLOT:  Cal (Steve Carrel) is getting a divorce from Emily (Julianne Moore).  Jacob (Ryan Gosling) a major player on the one night stand scene meets and falls in love with Hannah (Emma Stone).  Jacob teaches Cal to be a man whore.  Cal becomes a man whore.  Emily sleeps with David (Kevin Bacon). Cal loves Emily.  Jacob loves Hannh. Robbie loves Jessica. Jessica loves Cal. No one loves Marisa Tomei and quite rightly so.  There is a plot twist which I shamefully didn’t see coming.  There are many declarations of love.  There are actually genuine laughs. There is a happy ending.  END PLOT

The plot of Crazy Stupid Love is surprisingly strong if slightly unoriginal but I suppose there is only so much you can do with a comedy of this style.  I have to admit that there was one twist in the film that I did not see coming which is a testament to how engrossed in the film I became.    

The laughs came usually when Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone were at centre stage but unfortunately there seemed to be large portions of the film where they took a back seat.  The film would have been much stronger if they cut the Robbie/Jessica love story and just focused on the adults.

The cast were all very good and helped to lift a film which would have died a painful death if non funny comedy actors such as Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston had starred.

I have never been a Steve Carrel fan but he was very good as down and out Cal which makes me wonder if he might actually be a very good serious actor. 

Ryan Gosling is ridiculously attractive for a skinny blond man and had the charm to make his character work. 

Emma Stone hasn’t put in a bad performance in her career so far and Crazy Stupid Love has only cemented the fact that she is a great comedic actress.

Comedy is a genre I tend to steer clear of unless it is British but at least once a year a comedy sneaks in unannounced and is legitimately funny – last year it was Easy A (with Emma Stone) and this year it is Crazy Stupid Love.

The downside to the film is the length as Crazy Stupid Love is a staggering two hours long and I blame the Robbie/Jessica arc for adding unnecessary length to an already hefty film.  I will admit that although the film was long I was never bored I just feel that with better editing and a shorter running time it would have made the film much tighter. 

Crazy Stupid Love isn’t exactly a ground breaking addition to the genre but thanks to the performances of the cast it became a comedy with actual laughs which in terms of the never ending production line of shitty Sarah Jessica Parker infested filth it is a great achievement.  The film gets an 8/10 and will become an addition to the dvd collection if it pops up on a 3 for 2 offer.  The running length stops it from becoming a solid go to 90min film.

Colombiana

There are films you go to see just because of your love of the cinema and not because you are looking for the next *insert expected intelligent film here*.  Colombiana fits the mould perfectly as a handy midweeker.

PLOT:  Cataleya (Zoe Saldana) watches Don Luis (Beto Benites) kill her parents.  Cataleya escapes to America, drops her accent and announces to her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis) that she wants to become a killer.  Cataleya kills people she deems to be evil in order to draw out Don Luis.  NIPPLES!! Lennie James rocks up as an FBI agent who refuses to believe that a woman could actually be a badass killer.  Cataleya is sleeping with Danny (Michael Vartan) although this adds absolutely nothing to the film. NIPPLES!!.Cataleya kills Don Luis.   END PLOT

The plot is not original in any way, shape or form as it follows the same old vengeance beats that one would expect. 

Zoe Saldana is a very capable lead and she manages to add a touch of classy grace to her action moments.  The fact that she is the worst crier in Hollywood is rendered pointless as she is smokin’ hot!

The rest of the cast are fine but are nothing more than generic cardboard cut outs.

The action is standard, for example, I don’t think it is possible to have a film set in South America without a dramatic “free running” through the shanty town set piece. If you want to impress me have the scene take place up hill as even I can make running downhill look dramatic.......

This is a short review as there is actually nothing to say about the film.  With Colombiana you get exactly what you expect – a fairly decent if uninspiring 90min action flick.  It gets 6/10.

** Kudos for me for not dedicating bitchy paragraphs to the fact that Zoe Saldana’s nipples were in every single scene of the film**

The Silent House / La Casa Muda

My love of Spanish Horror is growing with my love of Spanish film so whenever the chance to watch The Silent House on dvd arose it wasn’t an opportunity I was ever going to turn down.

PLOT:  Laura (Florencia Colucci) and her father Wilson (Gustavo Alonso) spend the evening in the house of Nestor (Able Tripaldi), an old family friend, with the intention of tidying it up for sale the following day.  During the night Laura hears strange noises and upon investigation discovers that her father has been killed.  Laura is haunted by the ghost of a young child throughout the night until dawn arrives and brings back Nestor.  There are jumps.  There are slamming doors.  There are several creepy moments with a Polaroid camera.  There is a ridiculous twist that renders the entire film completely pointless.  END PLOT

The first two acts of The Silent House are very good although they add nothing new to the genre – all the jumps and scares are standard.  The Polaroid camera is put to good use but it is nothing we haven’t see a million times before.

Once the third act comes the twist is revealed and throws the film off to the point that Laura’s running around the house in order to find her father doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.   From the pictures on the wall to the final scene nothing in the third act worked.  

The film is clearly made on a shoestring budget and is very basic but the one thing that spoils it is the hand-held camera.  It’s easy but also obvious to compare the hand-held feel to the [REC] series – this concept is used to great effect in [REC] as the characters are all aware that the camera is there and they speak into it and film events accordingly.

Laura is not aware of the camera so some of the hand-held moments do not work for example, in one scene Laura is running through a field and the camera becomes blurry and the sound is distorted.  This takes you completely out of the film as it makes you too aware of the camera and points out the cheapness of the film.

One thing that does work in The Silent House is the lighting which is essentially Laura’s torch.  We see only what the torch can light up and I did find myself straining at times to see past the light and into the shadows.  The torch lights the film realistically and was not a typical “magic candle” which can light up an entire room brighter than the sun.

Although the film claims to be made in one continuous shot it wasn’t as every time the camera panned to a dark spot you could tell that this was a cut.  There were times when a shot did last for a considerable period of time so credit should be given to the film-maker for at least giving it a good go.

The small cast are fine – large parts of the film are dialogue free however when it comes it isn’t going to trouble Shakespeare as it essentially Laura saying the phrase “I don’t know” over and over again.  Colucci is okay as the lead and sniffles and weeps her way through proceedings adequately. 

Up until the twist The Silent House is a very decent low budget horror made by a first time director.  It is definitely worth a look just to see how much can be achieved for $6000.  The Silent House gets a 7/10 – it is not the best Spanish film I have ever seen but in terms of film-making it does deserve high marks for effort.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - spoiler free

Another week.  Another Blog. Another remake.  Another disclosure that I have not watched the original.

This week it is the turn of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

PLOT:  There is a mole at the top of the British Secret Service and George Smiley (Gary Oldman) is brought out of retirement in order to investigate the rat.  Smiley’s investigation interweaves with the stories of Jim Prideaux (Mark Strong) and Ricki Tarr (Tom Hardy).  There is corruption.  There is backstabbing.  There is an oddly tragic bromance. The mole is discovered. The rat symbolises obviousness.  END PLOT

The first half hour of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is deliberately slow and the film never really picks up speed – but it isn’t supposed to.  The tone of the film is steady and purposeful and the plot follows suit although that is not to say that the film drags in anyway as it doesn’t.

The clever aspect of the Tinker Tailor is that whilst we are told through flashbacks Jim and Ricki’s involvement we are never told just how Smiley ties everything together.  There is no “light bulb” moment as Smiley just quietly gets on with business – even the showdown between Smiley and the Spy is done in a dignified British manner without so much as a raised voice.

It is refreshing to see a spy film which doesn’t involve explosions, copious amounts of running around, gun fights in which no one ever gets shot and a big soundtrack.  Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy has none of these traits and it is a testament to the plot and performances that a glimpse into the more bureaucratic world of Spies is so engrossing.

The cast are absolutely phenomenal – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy stars the top level of British acting talent lead by the more than capable Gary Oldman.

There are several moments in the film which you can easily see as being part of Oldman’s Best Actor film reel at the Oscars.  His performance is absolutely mesmerising and is definitely the best of the year so far – it will take something special from “Oscar Season” to top it.

The rest of the cast are just as strong; Benedict Cumberback, John Hurt, Colin Firth, Toby Jones and Tom Hardy are all fantastic but it is Mark Strong who stands out amongst them.  It is rare to see Strong strip back the hard-man that he plays so well in favour of a broken man but it suits him surprisingly well.

The film is dark, miserable and beige and captures the dirty look of London in the 1970’s very well.  There are no clever or jerky camera shots as the film is shot at a very wide angle with the camera rarely moving once each scene begins.  There is no trickery in the film making - it's 100% plot and performance.

On first viewing Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is an absolutely amazing film but it needs at least one more screening to just to appreciate both the film and the performances.  It gets a 10/10 – if this is a glimpse of what we can expect from Oscar Season 2011 is going to end on a major high.

People can argue the pros and cons of remakes until they are blue in the face but the fact is it is worth sitting through a summer of Conan the Barbarians in order to get one Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. 

Jane Eyre

It may be hard to believe but I do have a real soft spot for costume dramas but quite frankly I have an even softer spot for Michael Fassbender so whenever the two collided in the form of Jane Eyre I was always going to be there on opening night.

PLOT:  Orphaned Jane Eyre (Mia Wasikowska) spent the majority of her childhood in a strict girl’s school but after graduating she goes to Thornfield Hall to tutor the ward of Mr Rochester (Michael Fassbender).  The two become close friends and although Jane believes Rochester is more interested in a more socially acceptable suitor he proposes.  On their wedding day Rochester’s secret is exposed and threatens their relationship. There is repressed sexual tension.  There are crazy wives.  There is Jamie Bell.  There are sweeping violins.  They all live happily ever after.  END PLOT

I have to admit I read Jane Eyre as a kid but I read the children’s version of the classic.  I am a reader but the Brontes and the Austens of this world have never held my interest therefore I found myself sitting between two avid fans who I am sure used the term “pleb” to describe me as a term of endearment.

The story was told out of sequence with flashbacks of Jane’s childhood interweaving with the main story.  This didn’t work as well as it should have and made the film feel very disjointed, especially for the first half hour however by the film settled down and the main Jane/Rochester story came to the fore I was fully invested.

The film had the look and feel of a period piece but it was nothing special.  I appreciate that giving the film a Hollywood gloss would not have been appropriate but at no time did the scenery, costumes or the set stand out and in this regard it was quite forgettable. 

Mia Wasikowska is excellent as Jane and portrays Jane’s unflinching goodness and strength very convincingly – she turned out to be a strong and capable lead.

Michael Fassbender charms his way through proceedings with ease and towards the end when Rochester’s secret is unveiled he upped his game and performance.

There was a real size difference between Fassbender and Wasikowska and whenever Rochester was dragging Jane to and from the wedding I was seriously worried he was going to break her!

Jamie Bell and Judy Dench are as strong as ever and helped to strengthen the supporting cast.

Jane Eyre was very character driven with the heroine being in every scene and as a newcomer to this character I found her quiet strength and resolve very genuine and likeable.  The film gets a respectable 7.5/10 – performance wise you would be hard pressed to find a fault and it will be an addition to the dvd collection upon its release but there was just something missing to elevate it into a truly spectacular adaptation.

.....now this pleb is going back to the Sons of Anarchy.....................

Fright Night 3D

As with my previous blog I have to start off with what now appears to be my usual disclaimer that I have not watched the original film.  This weeks remake is Fright Night and due to lack of choice it was Fright Night 3D

PLOT:  Charley (Anton Yelchin) is a reformed nerd now dating the high school hottie Amy (Imogen Poots).  Charley’s new found status is interrupted when his ex BFFF Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) begins to suspect that Charley’s next door neighbour is a vampire.  Jerry (Colin Farrell) is a vampire.  Budweiser.  Charley seeks the help of Peter Vincent (David Tennant) a local magician/vampire slayer. Charley wears puce shoes.  David Tennant is possessed by the spirit of Jack Sparrow.  Budweiser.  Charley tries to stake Jerry.  Apparently there is 3D.  A vampire film not directed by Guillermo del Toro can be interesting.  END PLOT

The plot is fine and surprisingly engaging.  Some of the exchanges between Ed and Charley over vampire pop culture are worryingly similar to conversations I have had myself. 

The story moves relatively quickly however it fails to play up the suspense of whether or not Jerry is a vampire therefore losing some of its edge.

I am grateful that Shia LaBeouf can no longer play a teenager as he surely would have gotten the role of Charley and killed the film.  Luckily Anton Yelchin is very likeable and carries the lead role well.

Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s career is ticking over nicely and very soon he will graduate to college comedy and the next phase of his side-kick typecast career.

After David Tennant calms down he is fun and Colin Farrell eye-fucks his way through proceedings with ease.

The action scenes are quite basic however this suits the old school feel of the film.  The 3D is pretty much non-existent and was very poor to the extent that the film looked blurry and out of focus in parts.  There were a few decent 3D moments after some random vampires were staked but overall the this aspect of the film was underwhelming and unnecessary although this could be said for pretty much any 3D film.

The trailer for Fright Night looked fun but as vampires are not my genre I wasn’t sure how much I would like the film.  It turns I was pleasantly surprised as the film turned out to be very enjoyable and gets a decent 7.5/10 - I will bet getting it on dvd when it is released.

It turns out if vampires have a little more smoulder and a lot less sparkle I can get on board. 

*short sweet and more half assed than usual but I don’t care – back to the Sons of Anarchy I go*