Exodus: Gods and Kings

The trailer for Exodus: Gods and Kings did its job perfectly as it made me want to pay good money to see the film albeit for all the wrong reasons.   I took nothing about the trailer seriously and my only regret is that the cinema wasn’t empty enough to allow me to enjoy the film in my own special way.

I know more about Ramses than I do about Moses and thanks to  my love of The Mummy I could have a good go at recalling the ten plagues of Egypt if it ever came up in a pub quiz.  I don’t know the story of Moses in any great depth so I have no idea how close to the scripture the film is and it is against my nature to do any background research.   

PLOT:  After doing nothing more dramatic than standing on a rocky hill watching his beard grow in what felt like real time Moses (Christian Bale) leads the Hebrew people out of Egypt.  END PLOT

I believe I counted ten plagues and one parting of a sea therefore I suppose Exodus: Gods and Kings can consider its job done.  The film might have got away with this but with a running time of two hours thirty minutes the lack of substance was well and truly noted around the time of the third plague.

The lack of story meant that there was next to no conflict between Moses and Ramses (Joel Edgerton) and the anguish that four hundred years of slavery would have caused the Hebrew people went practically unmentioned.  The plot boiled down to a lot of people standing around watching/suffering plagues.  Unfortunately the lack of insight into the plight of the Hebrew people meant that by the time the innocent children were killed in their sleep my sympathies were siding with the Egyptians.  I doubt this was the intended outcome.

Despite the lack of plot the film could have been saved by strong performances from the cast.  It wasn't.  Christian Bale is not a charismatic leader and is wound so tight with unnecessary intensity I was worried that he was going to snap himself into smithereens every time he started a monologue.  I wouldn’t follow him to the end of my garden path never mind across a waterless ocean.  Joel Edgerton doesn't fair any better than Bale and spends the vast majority of the film standing around his palace looking dumfounded and breathing through his mouth when angry/stressed/awake.  Ramses reaction to his son’s death should have been Edgerton’s moment to shine but it was beyond him.  There was no chemistry between Bale and Edgerton during their countless scenes of whispering at one another in darkened hallways and courtyards.

I truly believe that the casting director was either taking bribes or completing an elaborate dare with familiar faces such as John Turturro, Sigourney Weaver, Aaron Paul and the inexplicably irritating Ben Mendelsohn all showing up to potter about in the background and contribute absolutely nothing.  A lot has been said already about the casting decisions and as I can't think of anything witty to say on the issue I am going to move on.

The effects were nothing special and no amount of money will be able to make a flock of angry CGI crocodiles look real.  It is hard to see what the alleged £140million (IMDB) was spent on other than copious amounts of eyeliner. 

I have no idea who the target audience was for Exodus: Gods and Kings and I don’t understand why this film was made or what message it was attempting to share.  I was bored out of my skull watching it and writing this review I am more baffled than ever.  Exodus: Gods and Kings gets a generous 3/10.  

I don’t get Exodus: Gods and Kings, and frankly, I don’t think I want to.      

The Dark Knight Rises - spoiler free

The trailer for The Dark Knight is my all time favourite and the film wasn’t too shabby either. There was much anticipation for The Dark Knight Rises trailer but it fell short of my expectations by quite some margin. I couldn’t warm to the previews and excitement for The Dark Knight Rises took a while to build.

PLOT: Eight years have passed since the events of The Dark Knight - crime in Gotham is non-existent, Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) is a reclusive shut in and Batman is hated for (supposedly) killing Harvey Dent. After Bane (Tom Hardy) arrives in Gotham and threatens to destroy everything it is up to Batman to save the city which has lost faith in him. END PLOT.

If The Dark Knight Rises were in less capable hands it would become nothing more than a hero trying to disarm a terrorist threat but luckily Christopher Nolan did not let us down.

After the events of The Dark Knight Bruce Wayne has been left injured and broken.  The Dark Knight’s Rise to being Gotham’s true saviour is slow paced but always utterly compelling. A running time of two hours forty minutes is rare but TDKR didn't waste a second as there were no scenes that felt like filler.

There are many interweaving subplots which all came together in the final act. To say there is a lot going on in the film is an understatement but it didn’t feel bloated or needlessly complex. I respect Nolan for making an intelligent film which requires the audience to pay attention.

Despite a few clunky moments of exposition and a rather unsubtle recap of The Dark Knight the dialogue can’t be faulted.

The tone of the film is bleak and hopeless and doesn’t let up until the credits roll. The overwhelming sense of despair lasted for the entirety of the film which made it emotionally draining. Happy endings are ingrained in my cinematic mind and the reality that I may not be seeing one unfold was hard to accept.

Christian Bale was overshadowed by Health Ledger in The Dark Knight. In TDKR he got his moment to shine and put in a very strong performance but he needed to – with such a large cast he spent quite a bit of time off screen so it was essential that his presence be felt as both Bruce Wayne and Batman.

I don’t know anything about the Batman comics so the announcement that Bane would be the villain was met with no reaction whatsoever. The casting of Tom Hardy was more exciting than the character he would be playing.  This concerned me as with comic book adaptations it should always be the other way around.

Hardy had the physical presence required to play Bane but it was almost an anonymous performance. The much publicised vocal problems were noticeable, not because I couldn’t understand him, but because his voice was so clear and precise it was patently obvious he had been dubbed. It was not subtly done and there were occasions when the voice didn’t seem to match Banes eyes and movements. If there was a fault to be found in The Dark Knight Rises it would be this aspect of Bane.

There was always a big question mark over Anne Hathaway’s casting as Selina Kyle but she was much better than expected.

The supporting cast of Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marion Cotillard were all strong and provided solid grounded performances.

Despite the big names and much rumoured cameos it was Michael Caine who stole the show as Bruce Wayne’s loyal butler Alfred. Caine had the least amount of screen time but in the few scenes he had they were the most emotionally charged of the entire trilogy. I hope he is recognised with award nominations but I doubt he will be.

Aside from the football pitch explosion which was shown in the trailer the action felt real. A brutal fight between Batman and Bane was made all the more gritty as there was no music – it was scored by punches and pain.

I wasn’t overly keen on the score used in the trailer but it worked much better in the film. The familiar Batman theme and the “This is Gotham” chant blended very well together.

One of the best things about going to the cinema is the previews and there are some, now matter how often you see them, which will always give you goose-bumps.  It is rare to have goose-bump moments during an actual film but in The Dark Knight Rises there were several.

The Dark Knight Rises is probably the least enjoyable blog I have ever written as I don't want write a spoiler free review that no one will ever read - I want to talk about what an amazing piece of cinema I have just watched with my friends.

Is The Dark Knight Rises an absolutely perfect film? No.

Does The Dark Knight Rises bring the trilogy to an emotional and satisfying conclusion? Yes.

I think people simply have to ask themselves which is more important to them as film fans – for me it is without hesitation the latter.

Christopher Nolan has brought what will now be considered one of the modern greatest trilogies to an end and he made it look easy. The Dark Knight Rises can't must not be considered anything less than 10/10.

The Fighter

The Fighter could have been about the most boring topic in the world but with the double team of Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale I was always going to be excited about it.

PLOT: Micky Ward is an up and coming boxer based in Hicksville USA and is unfortunately saddled with his older brother Dicky, a drug addict and former boxer as his coach. Micky finds himself torn between his family and his girl as he desperately tries to keep his boxing career on track. Dicky is struggling with his habit whilst making a documentary about addiction.
Micky gets his ass kicked, Micky gets an opportunity, Micky disowns Dicky, Micky gets help from Dicky, a training montages sneaks in under the radar, Micky goes to London and is crowned the Champion and I have just spoiled the ending of the movie. END PLOT

The other two thirds of my Trio had asked what happened to my blog for The Fighter and I responded that I didn’t particularly want to write it as I didn’t know what to say about Christian Bale’s performance. They called me out on it straight away, accusing me of not liking Christian Bale because he got nominated over Mark Wahlberg.

The annoying thing about being part of a Trio who is always right is the fact that the Trio is always right.

BEGIN RANT: I have spend the vast majority of Mark Wahlberg’s career defending the man through thick and thin. I will agree that if you watch The Happening as a botanical thriller then he is piss poor but if you watch it as an ironic comedy Mark’s performance is transformed and elevated to the stuff of legends.

It is therefore really frickin’ annoying that the one time Mark actually pulls out an amazing performance he gets overlooked at the Oscar’s.

Mark got nominated for The Departed because he had an interesting hair cut and swore a lot but in The Fighter he is good at just acting.

Christian Bale is fine but at times he is very over the top. Dear Sweet Mark was so much better and deserved a best actor nomination. END RANT

The cast, especially Mark Wahlberg (and Bale to a lesser extent) were fantastic.

I do feel sorry for Wahlberg as he played the straight guy and has got over looked by the more showy performances which, for avoidance of doubt, I think is harsh.

Christian Bale was good, but the movie at times became the Dicky show, so it is debatable whether or not he should have been allowed to be in the supporting actor category. I will stop moaning though as I believe that if anyone other than Mark Wahlberg played Micky Ward I would be driving the Bale Bandwagon.

Amy Adams was great as Charlene and Melissa Leo as Alice Ward almost outshone everyone. They can box it out for the best supporting actress accolade but I think Melissa just about punches above Amy’s weight. Or something.

I did like the Ward family and it entertained me that the mother of Dicky and Micky procreated some of the scariest looking bunch of sisters since Cinderella although with nicknames like Pork, Tar, Red-Dog and Beaver what did you expect. The family focus was solely on the boys with the girls giving up their seats whenever they walked into a room. There were some nice touches with the family although I wouldn’t ever want to cross them.

Lock up your daughters. Literally

As I am a stickler for tradition I did not google the name Micky Ward in order to get some background information before I watched his life story. I also know nothing about boxing and would struggle to name one active boxer.

I didn’t realise how into the movie I was until quite near the end when Hilts asked me if I thought he won. I replied that I didn’t know and discovered I was quite stressed. I prayed that The Fighter wouldn’t turn into another Friday Night Lights as my poor shattered nerves couldn’t handle it. Emma-hen by this stage had begun punching the air in some sort of supporting yet uncontrollable spasm. The Nerdy Trio were stressed.

I absolutely loved everything about The Fighter and I cant fault it. It gets a 9/10 and will be a rare addition to my sports movie collection which consists of Friday Night Lights and Dodgeball.

Does The Fighter deserve Best Picture erm……. no
Does The Fighter deserve Best Direction erm……no
Does The Fighter deserve Best Screenplay erm……no
Does The Fighter deserve Best Supporting Actress …….yep
Does The Fighter deserver Best Supporting Actor erm……..yep (begrudged and I am aiming for a perfect score with this years prediction)

Does The Fighter deserve Best Actor …………….No

I am ignoring the fact that I can hear the rest of the Trio screaming “why are you crying like a jail house bitch over Mark’s lack of nomination whenever you want Colin Firth to win?” This is my blog and I can be as irrational as I see fit.

The End