Jurassic World

I am a child of the 90’s so if I had to name a couple of films that made an impact on my childhood they would almost certainly contain the word Jurassic.  They also play a big part in my adulthood.  I absolutely adore the first two Jurassic Park films and I hate the third with the same amount of passion.  The reason for my hatred? Tea Leoni.  The actress screeched her way through the entire film and although her character’s reaction to the situation she found herself in was realistic it wasn’t the type of realism I wanted to hear in a film about genetically created dinosaurs.  My commitment to hating Jurassic Park 3 has only increased over time and it is because of this my interest in Jurassic World never evolved into anything stronger than wariness. 

PLOT:  Jurassic World is a commercial success but in an attempt to keep customer interest high the scientists have genetically spliced together a new dinosaur using bits of cuttlefish, treefrogs and whatever else they had lying around.  The Indominus Rex escapes and hides in the forest while a flock of pterodactyls attack the visitors.  The babysitter dies a horrible death for losing her charges in a crowd.  Night time arrives and the Indominus Rex saunters back into the movie for a final showdown with a T-Rex.  The T-Rex walks heroically back into the sea while the people of Japan shout and cheer.  END PLOT

Quite a bit of time has passed since the T-Rex invaded San Diego and Jurassic Park has been rebranded as Jurassic World which is now open for business.  This was perfectly acceptable and I was happy to sit back and wait for the park to be destroyed in a dinosaur stampede.  In this regard the plot was fine as it achieved exactly what it set out to do.

My biggest problem with Jurassic World is that I spent the entire movie despising Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard).  Claire spent the first half of the film being a bureaucratic villain who only escaped being eaten alive, the fate of all human assholes in Jurassic Park movies, because she had a vagina and the film required a pathetic love interest who could show the perfect amount of thigh when running around in a pristine white dress.  The character was an embarrassment.  I have no opinion of Bryce Dallas Howard’s abilities as an actress but I judge her for agreeing to play a character which embodied every clichéd female character trope from the 1980’s.

Chris Pratt is the star of the film and is as likeable as ever.  Pratt got a lot less to do than I would have expected but he did have a nice little moment with a dying dino which was probably the only part of the film which had any genuine emotion.  The supporting cast in a Jurassic film must always contain children in peril and Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins are fine as the bickering brothers.  The kids never become annoying nor do they defeat a hungry carnivore with well-choreographed gymnastics. 

The CGI wasn’t bad and the 3D was shit but the dinosaurs were appropriately loud and toothy which is all that really matters.  The dinosaurs show up and despite their vast size and lack of natural stealth they always seem to take the characters by surprise.  The action scenes were entertaining but they would have been more effective if they had contained even a little bit of tension.  The nameless Ingen soldiers bore the brunt of the dinosaurs’ wrath but there was never any real threat to the main characters.  A T-Rex and a velociraptor had a little “bro-ment” after a successful double-team manoeuvre so that was nice.

I honestly hope that Jurassic World will introduce a new generation of fans to the franchise and those fans will go back and watch the original films as the first two still deserve our love.  Jurassic World is easily better than Jurassic Park 3 so the film has to be considered a win.  It gets 6/10.  Jurassic World is a solidly entertaining cinema experience and although the film won’t make it onto my dvd shelf I look forward to it being a part of my regular Sunday night TV viewing in a couple of years.